Mahmoud Ahmad
I READ in the Wednesday edition of the Al Madina Arabic daily newspaper a detailed article on a Saudi society that cares for the welfare of Saudi families abroad, Awasser. The newspaper had interviewed the head of Awasser and had brought to light the efforts and activities of the society. The article also highlighted a sad fact about Saudi children stranded abroad after being abandoned by their fathers.
According to the report, there are 8,230 Saudi children belonging to 2,358 families stranded in 32 countries in four continents around the world. The report added, as many as 28 families consisting of 60 members have been repatriated and are now living in the Kingdom as normal Saudi citizens.
These children are from marriages abroad, mostly by Saudi students on scholarships and from men on temporary missions abroad.
The main five countries with the largest number of stranded Saudi children are: Kuwait, Jordan, Syria, Egypt and Bahrain, while the host countries with the least number of Saudi children are Romania, Ireland, China, Bangladesh and Ukraine.
What I cannot understand is how could a father, be it a Saudi or not, abandon his own children in a foreign country and live with his conscience? How could a father give birth to an innocent soul and then walk away from him/her? How could a father sleep at night not knowing what is happening to his own flesh and blood, whether they are sick or hungry, getting a good education or even being abused by someone else? These are some of the many thoughts that crossed my mind when I was reading this report and it was also the main subject of discussion that day among my group of friends.
One of the most vociferous members of the group told us that it’s a shame that not only abroad do the fathers abandon and neglect their children, but we have fathers here in the Kingdom who neglect their children and are callous enough to put the full load of the children’s upbringing and care on the poor mother while thinking that their responsibility ends by just begetting them. How could such men be called fathers?
The carelessness, neglect and what I would describe here as a crime of abandoning children by these irresponsible fathers puts the full burden on the Awasser society to find a solution for the Saudi children stranded abroad and also providing them with decent care. I might understand such assistance has to be provided to families of Saudi children when the husband is dead or in that country’s jail because of a crime or a business problem. But in most cases, the fathers are known to the families and authorities while they continue to carry on with their lives in Saudi Arabia but refusing to recognize or acknowledge these children abroad.
Advanced technology has made it easy for courts to determine the child’s parents through DNA testing. Such fathers should be held accountable by law and forced to care for their children, at least financially. Such fathers do not know what commitment is and that they are totally responsible in front of Allah for the child they bring into this world.
They will be answerable for their action of neglect on the Day of Judgment. Despite knowing this fact, I am amazed at the selfish attitude of these fathers who put self-interest first at any cost and willfully abandon their children and responsibility. I also wonder why such people get married in the first place if they did not know of the responsibility involved or had any intention of taking care of children?
If they felt that they were in need of getting married, instead of marrying abroad and leaving the wife and children in lurch, the least they could have done is marry a Saudi girl from the Kingdom and take their wives to whichever country they are studying in or have been sent/transferred to for a short time. Many Saudi students have done just that. The question whether their marriage succeeded or not, is beside the point. But at least they did not bring a child into this world and then run away from it.
I checked online to see how deep-rooted is this problem and came across a website of Saudi children left behind. It was replete with distressing stories of mothers and children who were abandoned by Saudi fathers, who generally were on scholarship studying abroad. I read the depressing stories of the suffering of these single mothers. The site is few years old but it showed pictures of the Saudi fathers, who blatantly decided to leave their children behind with their full names and details. I wish if authorities can use this information to take them to task.
The psychological state of a child cannot be imagined if it goes through a traumatic experience. A child will surely suffer psychologically if he/she knew that his father was dead before he/she was born. The child will suffer even more if he/she knew that her father is alive and has willfully run away after abandoning him/her. Such children will suffer from depression and anxiety most of their lives and will feel insecure and unwanted. A child growing up with this burden will hate to get married and have children. Not to mention, such children may grow up by developing the ability to abuse others because of the hurt caused to them.
I conclude here with the Prophet’s (peace be upon him) saying: “Children have three rights over their father: that he give them a good name, teach them how to read and write, and marry them off when they mature.” And in another Hadith he said, “Love your children, and be kind and merciful to them. Fulfill your promises made to them since children consider their father to be the one who provides for their sustenance.”
I wish these fathers heed the Prophet’s sayings and come to their senses and care for their children before it is too late.
— The writer can be reached at mahmad@saudigazette.com.sa
Twitter: @anajeddawi_eng
