Opinion

What should we do about domestic abuse?

April 20, 2018
What should we do about domestic abuse?

Dr. Fawziya Al-Bakr

Al-Jazirah newspaper

People were recently outraged about the case of an Abha woman who was a victim of domestic violence. Twitter highlighted the incident, as there was a 10-second clip of the woman calling for help as her husband attacked her. Members of the public were split between those who said the clip was real and others who said it was fake.

This forces us to rethink the concept of violence against women. Society, as many of us realize, is changing fast. Women have changed because of education and development. They are now able, more than before, to express their opinions in a way that many men, especially those who are still stuck in the past, may disagree with. Such men often resort to violence.

Does anyone have the right to interfere in such cases? The name of the woman in Abha and of her husband were revealed. Despite being a conservative society that is overprotective of individual privacy, the husband was interviewed along with his relatives about the abuse, which is considered shameful, not only for him but also for his tribe.

What will happen to the battered wife? What are her options if she leaves her husband? She might have no option but to marry a man who has other wives, since she will be divorced. Do we live in an environment that supports divorced women and allows them the opportunity to complete their education and find jobs to support themselves until they find husbands?

Sadly, our society stands against divorced women, no matter how young they might be. Society is against women who are over 30 and unable to get married. Society leaves these women with no option other than becoming co-wives.

Marriage is a complex institution and needs a lot of training so that couples can learn to accept one another. No matter how awkward the behavior of a husband might be, we need to sit down with the couple to find out how deep this abnormal behavior is rooted. This is something that we can identify from police reports. We are in need of specialized institutions that focus on rectifying relationships between husbands and wives. If the voice of this battered woman in Abha was heard, then there are thousands of other women who are abused every night, but no one can hear their screams. Abuse is a painful reality, whether we like it or not. In some societies, it is almost accepted and expected. This encourages men to abuse women because it is socially acceptable and women expect it. There needs to be joint work between different bodies to fight domestic abuse, including education organizations.

The image of women in our curriculum needs to be reviewed. A woman does not need a muscular man to protect her as if she were living in the jungle. Instead, she needs his mind and wisdom to help manage life’s problems. We need the mosque, where men go five times a day, to change its Friday sermon to deal with our daily life and to remind men about the Prophet (peace be upon him) and how kind he was when dealing with his wives.

We need urgent reform committees to study the guidance given to couples. Only professional experts can assist and guide. Violence against women is cultural and we should expect all sorts of violence against women as we witness numerous great opportunities for women’s empowerment during this era of Custodian of the Two Holy Mosques King Salman. This could lead to confrontation and later violence.

Who should we support in such scenarios – men or women? Both of them need support and guidance. Men are not animals. We have raised men and fed them cultural concepts that has led some of them to practice violence against their wives. Their partners in life cannot build families without them. Therefore, both men and women need support and guidance.


April 20, 2018
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