Sara Matar
I AM writing this article with extreme caution because I know that some people may read and interpret it on their whims without thinking about my objective. This is an attempt to remind our teenage girls what they ignore while taking extreme steps. I am happy and honored to have a substantial number of young readers, especially after authoring a number of books targeting them.
Al-Watan was the first Arabic newspaper in the Kingdom to report the case of a 17-year-old Saudi girl who absconded to Georgia, taking with her the passports and cell phones of all her family members who were vacationing in Trabzon, Turkey. The girl decided to put in line the honor of her family, tribe and her own life to enjoy her freedom in another world.
Nobody can confirm whether the girl was under pressure because of harassment by her family members, as she had claimed on her Twitter message. She published a video clip showing her young brother being beaten by their father after he was chained. She also complained that her father used to threaten them. In my opinion, these are half truths and we cannot make a judgment based on these.
I believe what the Russian writer Leo Tolstoy had said in “Anna Karenina” still holds true. “All happy families are alike; and each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way,” he begins the novel.
Happiness differs from person to person. The same is the case of woes and pains. My mother (may Allah protect her) becomes upset and cries when there is disruption in water supply as if a big catastrophe had occurred or the matter would affect her in her entire life.
In light of the above example, we cannot make a judgment on the reasons the teenage girl has given for leaving her family and running away to another country and start a new life. Every one of us has our own personal grievances and pains that we bear patiently. On the other hand, there are others who think these woes and difficulties are unbearable and going to kill them.
What is stranger than Shahd’s flight to Georgia is the fact that many girls have praised her action. Our society should address this matter seriously. These girls should know that running away from family is not the solution for any problem or it is not a personal victory.
Absconding will not bring any happiness. A girl who runs away is not a dry leaf from a broken tree. People will still consider her as a member of the same family, tribe and society. When she runs away she is not only humiliating her family and tribe but also her country. No doubt, this is a big shame for the whole family and will remain with it forever because they live in a conservative society.
Not only girls but also boys can bring shame to the family. We have seen many young men who have left the Kingdom and joined terrorist groups, forcing their families to appear before the media to disown them. They say they were not aware of their sons’ terrorist links until they were caught by the police.
We have to ponder a lot on the matter of Shahd receiving massive support and encouragement from other girls after her escape to Georgia. They tell Shahd she is lucky being outside the Kingdom to enjoy her freedom. One social media activist told her that she is now in paradise. Another activist backed the girl’s move, saying she ran away to Georgia after receiving divine inspiration.
What madness? How can they praise a teenager for running away from her country and family for unknown reasons? That girl may be wrong for taking that hasty step without consulting others.
During my teenage days I have witnessed a similar case, although the story is different in details. After the completion of intermediate school examination, somebody knocked at our door asking whether we had seen a particular girl or not. She was my classmate in school but I knew her only by her name.
Twenty-four hours after her disappearance the entire residents of the district got up and joined her family to look for her. The family was deeply religious and known for their good manners and courteous relationship with others. We did not sleep that night and we had been searching for the missing girl. We wondered whether she had run away from family or had been kidnapped.
Finally, the teenager was caught by police and was put in a juvenile home. Everybody was talking about her scandalous behavior. Soon after the incident, the family left the district and city and lived in a far-off place to avoid people asking them embarrassing questions.
Even after the passage of several years people still talk about that teenage girl and the reason for her running away from the family, who only came out in the open only after the passage of several years because they could not bear the public’s remarks about them and their daughter. That girl is now grown up, got married and has become a mother.
